Thursday, April 26, 2007

Si Tulilit...bow!

I’m not certain when this feeling started. All that is left in me is the sudden gush of blood that you never fail to give me whenever you delight the room with your presence. Whenever I look at your innocent face, series of thoughts flood my mind. It’s as if I am taken away by your mere presence and that I am drowning with your strange little words.

You sit beside me and oh my, I can never define the feeling. My heart begins to pump more blood that I can no longer bear the pressure. Yes, you are killing me softly. And I am longing for the day that I am finally free from your deadly possessions.

When will that be?

When will I be free from your eerie voice that vibrates in my ears? When will you stop asking me stupid questions? When will you stop asking me to do things for you when in fact, you can do it yourself? When will you stop talking about non-sense things ? When will you stop complaining? When will you stop being such a stinger?

You irritate me.

You drown me with your hasty words.

You itch me with your horrible ways.

Uh, get away Tulilit…

Get away from me…

Sa jeep...

After eating dinner with my two high school friends, Anthea and Rizel, we decided to go to a videoke bar at Bajada. We took the jeepney instead of the very expensive taxi to kill the time since it was still very early.
As we sat down inside the jeepney, I suddenly remembered what my lecturer, Sir Nodalo, told our class that morning. He complained about how Davaoweños are when riding a jeepney. Our conversation started then.
I started talking about the very persuasive kundoktors here in Davao. Unique among them are the kundoktors of Mintal/Calinan route. Who wouldn’t be shocked or irritated when they come close to you? Very close that mura na mog magbeso-beso ni manong! They sometimes hold your arm with matching eye to eye and say “Mintal maam? Mintal? Larga na ta mam…Mintal!”. At Roxas in front of Ateneo, these kundoktors would meet you across the street, walk with you (face to face gihapon) and still insist “Mintal maam? Mintal?”. Bisan pa naglingo-lingo na ka “Mintal maam? Mintal?” gihapon ang pangutana ni manong. Pastilan! I hope they realize that not all people lives at Mintal or lives along the way going to Mintal. Naa pud intawon taga Bajada, Tibuungco, Sasa, Panacan.
Rizel talked about the different places you should sit according to your personality. If you’re kind enough then you wouldn’t mind sitting near the driver even if there are only three of you inside. Kay alangan, mura pud kag kunodktor kay ikaw tagdawat og pasahe. And you wouldn’t also mind the sometimes very hard kuhit of other passengers “Bai, bayad daw palihog”. If you are a bit stubborn, you would always opt to sit near the entrance (the farthest from the driver). Para ikaw na pud ang mamalihog sa bayad. Just remember to be gentle sa pagkuhit sa imong katapad kay basig mabun-og. I added that when I was in college, I would always make it a point to sit farthest to the driver para dili ako ang maghatag sa pamasahe. It’s not that I’m being stubborn, but intawon, puti akong palda! Kung tulo ra mi sa jeep, unya akoy duol duol, mura na gyud og trapo-h ang akong palda kay magbaguros sa hastang aboga nilang lingkuranan.
Anthea complained on the very hard working jeepneys, kanang mga pamugasay! You know, the jeepney kundoktor who keeps on saying “Sibugi Daw! Sibugi palihog! Diha sa wala….pulo pulo na !” with a very hard hapak on the side. Only to find out that only half of the passenger’s butt can fit in. Kudkud gyud manong!
I then told them what Sir Nodalo complained about. He asked our class why do some Davaoweños pay exactly before they step down the jeepney? “Lugar lang nong, bayad daw palihog.” Why not just pay upon sitting down so there will be no hassles? But when Sir complained on why do some knock on the jeepney’s ceiling before going down, our class just exploded with laughter. Bitaw no! I told Anthea and Rizel that people do that to get the driver’s attention of course. If the jeepney is so jam-packed and the street is so busy, the driver may not hear the passengers sometimes and so people knock on the ceiling or tuktukon og coin ang metal handle.
Knocking is very much important if you are riding a jeepney bound for Toril. They are very well known for their “boom-Boom” sound system. I remembered what my Clinical Instructor told the kundoktor during our Community Nursing exposure, “Dong, pakihinayan daw inyong sounds kay murag mausab akong heartbeat!” See? Ana kakuyaw og kakusog ilang jeep. So there is really a need for you to knock on the ceiling. “Kung muingon kag lugar lang nong na normal voice, dili jud ka madunggan oi!”, I said. “Lagi jud!”, Anthea blurted out. Then I added, “ Perti! Dapat gyud kusgan nimo imong tingog kanang mualingog-ngog gyud ba…LUGAR LANG NONG!”
The jeepney stopped. All the passengers looked at me, the driver stared at me at the mirror. I blushed and said “Ay hala! Wala to nong, sorry!” Naglingo-lingo lang intawon ang driver og nagpadayon.
Giatay ra! Me and my big mouth sa jeep….

$300, 000 , anyone?


I FINISHED college the other Saturday. I was swarmed with messages saying “congratulations” or “I’m so proud of you.” Some friends just shook my hand and, as if they had nothing else to say, just asked me, “So how does it feel to finally graduate?” I answered them with a smile and said, “Oh, it feels great! It’s exciting to know the feeling of being unemployed!”
They thought I was joking, and so they laughed, gave me a pat on back and told me not to worry because I would soon be a registered nurse and go abroad and find greener pastures. They went on to say something about the big salary I would be earning as a nurse and the benefits my family would surely get from it. They also brought up the issue of doctors becoming nurses. And finally, they advised me against getting married or even having a boyfriend until I was abroad.
I have heard so many versions of these for four years now. This thing about instant wealth was used by my parents to convince me to go into nursing. To someone who repeats this, it might look as if I am hearing it for the first time, I am really fed up and I feel like finishing their statements. It is only because I don’t want to sound disrespectful that I put up this façade, an art that I have mastered after many years of listening and listening to the same thing. Sometimes, I just want to make a list of the salaries nurses are supposed to earn in different countries and the types of cars they can expect to own as well as the different nationalities of their probable spouses. This would help those who are trying to help me decide. Perhaps then, they won’t make a mistake in telling me in which country I would earn $300,000 a year.
It’s amazing how people who didn’t take up nursing can be very interested in a nurse’s salary. Once they have an idea of the amount, they announce it to the whole world to convince others to take up the course. My grandmother’s friends, my mother’s officemates and even our high school registrar told me many stories about nurses and always concluded that I should not think twice about going into nursing.
But did they ever consider what I have to go through before I would enjoy the so-called greener pastures? Did they know how many bacteria and viruses will enter my respiratory system before I qualify to work abroad? How many bullets and tumors have to be taken out of human bodies with my assistance? Or how many last breaths I will witness? Don’t they realize how much I have to sacrifice to earn such fabulous salaries, like leaving my family? I bet they don’t, but they pretend that they do.
At a small gathering after our Nursing Ceremony, the one in which they gave us our college rings and pins, there was an old man who talked about nursing so much that he sounded like a brochure. He lectured on the “beauty” of being a nurse, which of course focused on the big salary. He ended his one-and-a-half-hour speech with a big smile and an approving remark: “You made an excellent choice!”
His statement floated in my mind for a long time. It clashed with my idea that choosing nursing was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. It took me days to finally accept that, yes, he was right! But what made nursing an excellent choice for me was not the salary I will get, it was the experience I had as a nursing student.
It was an experience which was way too different from the experiences of students taking other courses. When they got together, they would talk about the low grades they got in their quizzes, the difficulty they encountered studying numbers or the thrill of analyzing chemicals in the laboratory. When I talked about my experience, I talked about the patients I handled. I talked about their condition, their story, their experience. I talked about life!
And that is what makes me different from them. It’s because I deal with life and I have the rare chance of seeing life like the other students never see it. In my world, there is no room for mistakes unlike theirs where they can easily crumple the piece of paper with their wrong answers or make fresh calculations or take make-up quizzes in order to pass a subject. They will never know when a person is in pain by reading books or calculating, but a nurse does.
And this is because a nurse does more than to read and calculate. A nurse produces more than a computer program or a graded thesis. A nurse gives his/her own self to the people around. A nurse gives humane care to people, to life! And I believe that is reason enough for me to accept that, indeed, being a nurse is an excellent choice.
So why don’t some well-meaning people, who are trying to help students make up their minds, just tell them: “Hey! Why don’t you take up nursing so you will have rich experiences that will help you make good judgments in life” or “You should take up nursing because it is a rare opportunity to take care of the most wonderful gift God gave us”? I suppose it is too difficult for them to let these words escape their mouths because people might laugh at them since the words sound so godly, so just, so humane, so good, so true. On the other hand, why do they have to bribe them with the big salary? For practicality’s sake, I know, or perhaps it is just their way of saying, “Go earn big money so you can help me escape from poverty.”
Being a nurse is not just about money. It is about carrying a big responsibility in nurturing the profession as a never-ending fountain of experiences that will make a person appreciate life even more.

Bountiful Harvest ( Grey's Anatomy)

Mr. Davidson came in the hospital brain dead. His brain got "scrambled" after a bunch of idiot bike riders ran him off the street.

Two surgical interns took charge of him. One of them, Dr. YAng, was not disturbed with the situation at all. The other, Dr. Stevens, was so concerned that she even considered having a "miracle" that can keep Mr. Davidson's neurons get going.

The resident physician instructed them to have the EKG taken and if there are no significant changes within 6 hours, they have to declare him legally dead. It is not something unusual in the medical field but yes, it's a very odd situation to deal with.

The two interns couldn't let their tired asses wait 6 hours without doing anything and so they brainstormed on what to do. Dr. Stevens still dwelled on her "miracle" possibility and Dr. Yang still remained firm that they can do nothing except take the EKG and perhaps do a CT scan. They probed even deeper and finally came up with the idea that since the patient is only brain dead, his organs might as well be healthy. Being the "hungry-for-operation" surgical interns, they make as much possibility just to scrub in an operation. Yes, they though of having a "harvest surgery". It's a surgery that will make Mr. Davidson a possible donor of many organs.....his organs!

Dr. Yang sought the approval of Mrs. Davidson for the said procedure. She gave her permission for the major organs understanding that her husband's organs may save other people's lives. But when Dr. Yang asked if Mr. Davidson can donate his skin as well, Mrs. Davidson finally broke down. It was something beyond the human dignity's capacity to take in. Dr. Yang understood that and she also understood that she never had the empathy when it comes to her patients.

Everything was set and the team was ready for well, the harvest! Dr. Burke cut in, through the skin, the subcutaneous tissue, the fascia, the peritoneum and finally exposed Mr. Davidson's inner cavity. They took the pancreas first and stored inside a cooler. The liver was taken next, then the kidneys, the lungs and finally Mr. Davidson's heart.
A deafening flat line dominated the operating room. The harvest was finally


It is a bit difficult to accept that it is legally right to do such operation. Considering the fact that it crosses the line of the human person as a whole being. Looking at the brighter side, the organs can save many more lives. It's just a pity to see a brain dead man with nothing spared but his stomach and intestines.

Kapoya na oi..

What a day! I wonder if my day can still get worse. I hope not. I am dead tired.

I did not have a good night sleep last night because well, a beautiful and long-haired friend of mine had an “EPISODE” last night that just needed my help. So I went home late and gosh, I still have to wake up early for my first day of IELTS Review.

Our class started at 9 am. I was very much excited because of one simple reason – It’s ENGLISH!! I love English. I can’t get enough of it. So when the class started, I was all ears. I liked the lecturer because he is gay! Hindi nga lang malandi pero okay na! He gave us the orientation and started the lecture with the LISTENING aspect.

In this part, we are suppose to fill-in the blanks on the questionnaire while listening to the CD. I thought it was easy because you just have to ay attention to what the speaker in the CD is telling to get the answers.

Animal! Gi-sunggo ko kay British Accent gyud siya ay….Lahi ra gyud! “H” becomes ”heych” , “lake” becomes “layk” , “z” becomes “zen” and so on…Pastilan! Nagtinan-away og naka panglingo na lang mi ni Air.

We took our measly 1 hour lunch break at one of our favorite restaurants. I did not enjoy the food much because of the time and well, I was talking most of the time. I was refreshing the memory of my long-haired friend who just had an “episode” last night.

At 1 pm, we started our review again. It was all about the READING aspect. We were asked to read, skim or scan the passages to answer questions or give the headings of each paragraph. It was difficult because one : too little time , second : perti kagamay sa font , third : hanap ang photocopy and fourth : katugon na ko ter!

At 3, they gave us a free snack. No comment na lang about the food they served us. Hay!

The 15 minute break was over and another gay lecturer went in the freezing room. I was excited again kay I was expecting a show! To my dismay, he was very saryos man! Formal kaayo c Tita. So again, the tranquilizer seeped into my nerves. He discussed about the WRITING aspect and gosh, this class was boring-er! My neurons had a hard time connecting with each other, in short, nag HANG na ko. Ungot na kaayo bayut!

He gave us a quiz pa jud and hehe, I got a really bad score. Shame on me. I know.

Our class ended before 5 and I decided to stay at MIX muna instead of going home kay sayang ang pamasahe. When I got there, a series of painful pinches welcomed me! Aguy! Joey started telling me what happened to her over the weekend but I was floating at that time. Sorry Joe ha! 1 bar na lang man gud ko ato.

At 6 pm, I went to my part-time job and my Korean Boss welcomed me by adding a new student for my shift. So I had class from 7 -10:30 pm, wa pa nay break ha! One of my students was labad pa gyud kay dili kasabot og singular and plural.

Man! When will this day end?!

New here..

I am new here..

I was not actually a fan of having a blogspot. Let's just say that I am a little forced to make one. Oh well, I think this is alot better than posting a blog in my multiply and friendster account..

Have fun reading...;p